Monday, November 3, 2008

Primitive Theater

This semester has been insane, I've never felt so challenged. I'm normally a very laid back, stress-free person but never in my life have I had more instances of being faced with the impossible, freaking out and then feeling totally hopeless and defeated. I'm not saying this so I can say, "but somehow I make it work," because I don't. I've let myself down so many times this semester, I almost think it's bad for my health. I am learning though. It's not just about the artistic difficulty. My personality and habits are being challenged. I've been a perfectionist my whole life, frequently taking a 0 on easy assignments because I was afraid of not doing an amazing job on them. I realize this semester, that I've got to distribute myself evenly to make it through this program. There's just no way to give any one class 100% (at least not at the speed I'm at right now). It's so hard and frustrating to have such a core trait that get's in the way. I know this and I think I'm slowly starting to understand, accept and work through it. At least that's what I'm banking on. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Enough rambling, he's my primitive Theater. I had really high expectations when I started this project. Then, a week before it was due, I spent too much time on my other classes and I realized I was really behind and figured there was no way to make it not suck. So even though I had bigger plans for it, I feel it was at least somewhat successful. hopefully I'll find some time this winter to clean it up for my portfolio. C&C welcome.